The Drunken Earl: “Bergamotitis”
A Carefully Crafted Blend of Earl Grey Wine for the fine members of the American Society of Virology
In order to sate the refined palettes of the prestigious American Society for Virology, we bring you: The Drunken Earl: Bergamotitis. Using the finest white grapes and bergamot oranges sourced straight from Reggio di Calabria, this tea-infused wine will surely win over the pickiest connoisseurs of wine. Fermented in stainless steel barrels with our signature cultured yeast, the unique taste of The Drunken Earl calls forth memories of tea parties aplenty — with the benefit of a strong kick to remind the society members of how far we’ve come since the days of simple Earl Grey tea. Paired best with English Scones and Clotted Cream, this wine is sure to be a hit with tea-lovers and wine-lovers alike. For those who prefer a less strong wine experience, it is heavily recommended to add a small amount of orange juice to your glass, as well as your preference of fruit to create a heavenly sangria.
The process of creating this wine includes the careful harvesting of white grapes as well as bergamot oranges at the peak of ripeness. A bisulfate stock solution — potassium metabisulfite and water — is integrated during the musting process to ensure that no pesky bacteria thrive in the confines of this wine, as well as to stabilize the flavour — as no one in their right mind likes vinegar flavoured wine. (Here’s looking at you, wacky Kombucha lovers.) After soaking the fruit in their skin for a full day, the grapes and oranges are carefully pressed in preparation for the fermentation process; but it would not be complete without our carefully cultured yeast to convert the sugars of these fine ingredients into the much beloved ethanol.
The pressed juice and yeast are patiently fermented for two weeks in stainless steel barrels, rather than in Oak barrels, to prevent the alteration of the flavour. An addition of bisulfate is then added to the wine. The mixture is then aged in these barrels for eight months at a chilly temperature of 18C to ensure that the heat emitted during the fermentation period also does not alter the flavour of this fine wine. Once this period is complete, the racking process begins with the addition of Bentonite to fine the wine and treat any protein instability — the use of Bentonite ensures the clarity and stability of The Drunken Earl. After this addition, the wine is then filtered and the bottling process begins — but not before the addition of Ceylon Tea to round out this nod to Earl Grey.
Ceylon tea leaves are rinsed with hot water to remove any impurities on the surface of the tea and begin to soften the leaves; they are then thoroughly integrated into the wine, mixed carefully so as to not break the leaves into small particles that will not be filtered out. The tea is steeped overnight in the wine at a brisk 20C, preventing any bitter flavours from leaving the leaves. The last steps in this process include filtering the wine once more with a strainer to remove all tea leaves, and finally the wine is bottled and ready for consumption.
Disclaimer: No pathogenic viruses were utilized in the fermentation or production of this wine. (I may or may not have been drinking Earl Grey the entire time I was drafting this essay.)
(Prompt: http://snippi.com/s/nsk8251)
